Today should have been....

To day should have been our first u/s app. I would have been about 7-8 weeks. I felt like crap yesterday thinking about today. So instead I get to go to the rheumatologists office and get my lab results. I am not looking forward to going in there because I know I am going to rip them a new asshole after how they treated me on the phone yesterday. I am also pissed off today because I am so sick of seeing someones posts on Facebook regarding their own pregnancy. I am so upset that all she keeps writing is how she is so "done" being pregnant and feels like crap. Just be happy you are even pregnant, and with your second child!! And you still aren't married and never married the first guy!!! I know that sounds mean but seriously!! I'm over it!!

The only thing that makes me smile just a little is reading the posts on my miscarriage website. I enjoy talking to those gals because they can all relate. It drives Ryan nuts I think. Only because I sit only the internet on my phone every night now. I did make a post today that put some hope into my heart.....My horoscope sounded promising....
"If your days have been challenging lately,if your mood has been gloomy and somewhat pessimistic, have faith because all that is about to change for the better. The cosmic forecast for your sign shows that the dark clouds will come shining through, with very little chance of conflict and difficulty. Smile, Capricorn. You've been through the worst of the storm. The beginning of this year may not have been the very best for you, but it's all about to become significantly better."

No Wee One....

Ok I can't believe I resort to charting everything since this damn MC. Why can't it just go the old fashioned way and bam, you have baby??? Here I am taking my temp every morning now, peeing on an ovulation stick and brace yourself for this one, but cervical mucus too.......All this because OUR baby didn't want to stick.

I am so mad right now. I am sick of seeing other people complain about how hard their pregnancies are or were or how they are just sooooo done being prego (I detest that term). These people have no clue who hard it is for someone like me. Hold on hun, I have to take my temp then we can have sex. Sheesh, these girls just lay down and BAM, its baby time! What did I do wrong for it to turn out like this??? Good career, awesome house and cars, Husband who rocks, but no wee one.....

Rheumatologist

The day I should be going to the OB doc to see wee ones heartbeat, I get to go see the flippin Rheumatologist instead. Lucky me. More blood work to see why I am crazy, becasue this is how I have been feeling. Maybe it is all me........